I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think i peed on brittanys purse
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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