sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
