you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
