I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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