My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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