omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
