are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize