Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
