Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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