Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
cat food counts as protein by the way
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
