so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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