There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cockslap morals
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
