Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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