this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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