You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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