only if we run a train.
done.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
