Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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