You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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