When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
They took my balls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
im on a boat
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