i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
