sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
