The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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