you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
