the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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