You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
