You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
