Quick, to the slutcave!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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