I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
