i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
