Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
