Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
