Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
