In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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