when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
