how can u be prego again
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
