best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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