I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
