The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
