Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
