you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
