i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
