im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
