i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize