I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize