Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize