drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
