Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
