i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
