Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
