He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
