That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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