I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
