Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
