yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
