the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
