You're my little dorito
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
