never play flip cup with pint glasses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this hospital has no fireball
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
