The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do vagina's smell?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
