like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize