Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
