It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
