Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
