she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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