Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
