idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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